Your Attention Please! I am giving up trying to control time…
“What part in all of this is in your control?” I start the question slowly as if to ease them into the very poignant ending where I emphasize the ‘your’ and raise my inflection on the L in ‘control.’ Usually, this question comes after my client has shared a story about someone else or something that hasn’t gone according to plan. The question, oftentimes begun with a softener to allow the client space to resettle themselves is not only important to coaching but also a session focus cannot be committed to if ‘the goal of the session is not within the client’s control.’ My training refers to it as part of the evidence procedure, a framework of steps to ensure the client can work towards a resourceful coaching outcome.
Control is such a funny thing though. So much of the grief and sadness of our lives come from attaching ourselves to things we cannot control. But what good would life be if we didn’t fall in love or aspire towards things we’ve yet to imagine possible? It is easy to understand what I mean about control and other people. If you love someone let them go… blah blah, yeah, you get it. But consider the latter notion. Where would mankind be if not for Orville and Wilbur Wright aspiring towards a yet unthinkable dream, to control the sky like a bird?
This is the control I speak of; the control of inanimate or intangible objects. And this is what brings me to the silly notion of Time Management: the goal of trying to manage and control time in order to feel productive. Hopefully, after starting this blog the way I have, you too are seeing the foolishness of one the most common things my clients come to me to work on and something that I have spent decades trying to control: time.
Back to my rudimentary definition of time management. I included the ‘in order to…’ to remind you that personal productivity truly IS a feeling. Sure, we can quantify the results of things accomplished during the day, but it is only when we apply an emotional value to it are we able to assign it with a ‘good-bad-anywhere in-between’ day of ‘managing my time.’ Did YOU feel productive today? I sure hope so, unless reading blogs is on your To-Do list. Hmm… now I am feeling like I lost half of my readers who just stopped and screamed at themselves inside their head, “Why do I always get so distracted from my work? Especially when I have been working on my time management!”
For the rest of you, focus for a moment on this. No really, forget about time for a moment and set your attention right… here. On. This. Word. Wait for it… wait for it… GOOD, I’ve got your attention. Time management is starting off with an intention to control time and then failing miserably each time and wondering why. Your attention, and therefore your Attention Management is entirely within your control and worth every moment of your time spent trying to reframe your notion around how you perceive productivity.
Time management is starting off with an intention to control time and then failing miserably each time and wondering why. Your attention, and therefore your Attention Management is entirely within your control and worth every moment of your time spent trying to reframe your notion around how you perceive productivity.
Sure, I am aware that this is merely a perspective shift, but this is what happens in coaching. People come to us whole and resourceful people and leave us as whole and resourceful people. The reason for them to keep coming back for more is that we help them see the same things, but with a new perspective. They come to us with a perceived weakness and we question how they can turn it into a strength. They bring their problems and leave thinking of them as opportunities. Attention Management is just that kind of perspective shift.
This is the area of the blog where, as a coach, I am supposed to share tips and ideas about Attention Management, but to shift our focus on that would be a waste of our time. The truth is that I am still working on making my own shift towards owning my attention and focus and letting go of my desire to control time.
How about you? What’s your focus? Now that I’ve got your attention if you want to know more just Google it… but first, decide how much attention you will give to going down that rabbit hole. Because, well, it’s a rabbit hole and who has the time for that?
